WHERE THE F$#@ ARE MY KEYS?!?!?

I almost forgot the most hilarious story of the entire trip to Prairie Meadows Racetrack and Casino.  I was sitting in the waiting area in the hallway outside the poker room waiting to be called for the 1-2 No Limit Holdem game.  A guy came stomping out of the room on his cell phone angrily shouting into it.  I didn't have to strain to hear his end of the conversation.

"I can't find my fucking keys!!! They were sitting on the table right beside me and when I got up to leave they were gone.  I don't know!  Somebody stole them I guess!  I flopped a set and then lost to a runner-runner straight and then when I try to leave my god damned keys are gone!  I think I have another set downstairs, but I think they only work in the ignition.  I don't know how I'm going to get into the car.  Well go ahead and see if you can find them and then call me back."

About halfway through this conversation a guy wanders around the corner and patiently waits for him to end his phone call and the following conversation ensued:

"Hey, buddy, are these your keys?"

"YES!!! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THEM?!?!?"

"They were sitting on the table next to my phone and I just picked them up by accident.  Sorry, man, I got all the way back to my hotel room before I was like wait a minute...whose keys are these?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? Who picks up somebody elses keys and walks off with them?!?!? God dammit!!! I was about to have a heart attack!"

Then he stomped back into the poker room to the table he just left and really loudly and equally as profanely recounted the story to the table full of dudes who looked like they could give two shits about this guy's bad beat or his lost keys.  As he got louder and cursed more and more security and the floor people were inching closer and closer to him.  He finally realized they were hovering right behind him when he sheepishly said, "Sorry...found my keys," and left.

I wound up getting seated at that table and the consensus was that he should have just thanked the guy and shut the hell up.  The guy didn't have to return the keys and could have just dumped them in the trash if he'd known he was going to take the abuse he did when returning them.